Phalluses, Flip Phones, and Judgment in a Tech World

Back in the day-like maybe 5 years ago-on a couples' date, we waited in line to see a comedy revue in Hollywood. One of the men in our party reached into his pocket and removed his cellphone. He cocked his hips forward and flipped his phone open. This triggered a reaction with more men, up-and-down the line, also flipping their phones open. They looked so manly and assertive. The women didn't take their phones out, but we all had them, of course. If flip phones had existed in ancient Egypt or Pompeii, the statues of sovereigns would have revealed them regally seated on their thrones . . . holding a flip phone in their laps like a gigantic phallus. 

Cell phones are status symbols, but it's only with the introduction of smart phones that women seem to be equally consumed with them. They're as likely as men to walk with head bowed over phone. When just standing in line, no one talks to strangers anymore. They're too busy tweeting that they're standing in line.  I don't have a smart phone.  I'm on and off my computers all day so a walk without being wirelessly connected to the world is a blessing. Plus, I like to people watch and I'm curious which of my "friends" will glance at me with pity when I pull out my . . . flip phone.

The following letter is from Peggy, a friend of 40 years (A 70's Redux). She wrote to me in response to a link I sent to her regarding my Huffington Post blog, Bullied: Diversity, Differentiation, Distinction. Her letter has no condescension when discussing technology . . . only wonder.

Sandra, 

Well I clicked on the HuffPost site. I realized that technology for me is like an octopus.  You can be very comfortable with one appendage (doing texts and using a smart phone at the beginner level), but what goes on in other appendages can make us feel like blithering idiots (envision a resident of an asylum, straight jacketed, drooling after a session of drugs and electricity to the brain!)  

The day we met at Venice beach, I got there way before you.  So I did what anyone would do.  I tried to call you to see where you were. Gerald answered your home phone and told me you don't always have your cell on! So after several attempts to contact you that day, I resorted to the old-fashioned method for coping in today's world: I sat and waited for you to show up.  What to do when you can't instantly reach your friend? Made my skin crawl as I had nothing to do till you showed up.  Oh, there was people watching.  I enjoy it.  But honestly, I felt I was so superior thinking I was so advanced cuz I USE MY PHONE CONSTANTLY THROUGHOUT THE DAYLIGHT HOURS, BUT YOU OBVIOUSLY DIDNT.  

Fast forward to this blog thing and I am right back at the idiots table.  In the old days everything on machines was obvious!  There were buttons and their functions were instantly recognizable.  We knew what each button did cuz it only did one thing: on/off, channel, volume, horizontal control, vertical control! That was it. Now you have to know the codes for each letter, number, icon before you can encode the messages and negotiate anything on technology!   

So my dear friend, I read the info about you and I have too many questions to type.  I guess I'll just have to do the old fashioned thing- and call you.  That modality still is available and it doesn't involve magical icons and codes.  

I'll try to call this week.  I must say I'm so proud to be the friend of such an accomplished author.  And Im very happy that you are working on the next installment.  Which pleases me so much.   I loved the first one and knew as I read each precious page that I wanted to spend more time with the Sandoval sisters than just one book. 

Talk soon.  Congrats.  Much love! Peg

Sent from my iPad

Conquest: Excerpt from The Sandoval Sisters' Secret of Old Blood

“I have a present for you, Pilar.” Geraldo reached behind the chair for a large box. “For the most unique woman in all of Sandoval and Quintana history.”

            Inside were gloves of soft leather. Underneath those were canvas pants with a blue stripe traveling down the leg and a multi-hued sash to tie around my waist. On the bottom lay a finely tooled leather holster with a Colt 5-shooter inside it.

            “Learn how to use it.” He reached inside his boot and removed a tiny pistol. “And this. It only fires one shot, but one shot may be all you need.”

            I ran my finger along its silver inlays and mother-of-pearl grips and traced the engraving of a centaur on its side. “It’s beautiful. Centaurs were shape shifters. Wizards. Born of the mare-headed Demeter, they castrated her priests. They wore female dress—”

            “Ah, yes,” Geraldo said. “Perfect for my own little Sandoval shape shifter.”

***

            Spring came late to Santa Fé in 1846, but the first traders traveled across the trail with news that war between the States and Mexico had begun. “Be prepared for anything and everything,” Geraldo said.

            In the summer, we got word General Kearny and his Army of the West were coming to claim New Mexico. Americans had been visible on the streets of Santa Fé for some time, usually as the result of their trading ventures. Many New Mexicans, including Governor Armijo, had become involved in the trade. Both my father and Geraldo rode the trail often.

            A few men traveled with their wives, usually Indian or Mexican women, but I’d never seen an Anglo woman cross the trail. The plaza was packed with men—American, New Mexican, Spanish, and a few French. For the most part, I passed as one of them.           

            The Missouri traders were all for the Americans taking over. They wanted it done peacefully so as not to disturb business along the trail. They also wanted to get rid of Armijo and the high levy he put on each wagonload of goods. Many, including Geraldo, suspected the receipts of the tax went into Armijo’s pockets. He had made himself unpopular with the locals by taking land from the public domain and giving it to his friends, many of whom were Americans involved in the Santa Fé trade.

            I stood beside Geraldo in the plaza when General Kearny and his army of more than sixteen hundred men entered Santa Fé in August 1846. Hundreds of supply wagons, more than I thought possible, followed the army–1500 oxen, 3600 mules, and 450 horses pulled them. A caravan of eighty merchant wagons traveled with them, ready to set up shop when the city changed hands.

            “It’s an entire country!” I said. A few men nodded their agreement.

            “An invasion,” Geraldo said. “A military occupation. They’re placing a cannon on the hill overlooking the city.”

            Acting governor Juan Bautista Vigil y Alarid surrendered the city. Not a shot was fired. When the Mexican tricolor was lowered, women sobbed and soldiers cheered.

            The United States had conquered its first foreign capital.

***

           General Kearny proclaims  New Mexico  now part of the U.S.

      "Conquest of New Mexico" 1882, artist unknown

            

            “Some of your priests have told you that we would ill-treat your women and brand them on the cheek, as you do your mules on the hip. It is all false,” General Kearny said to the crowd of New Mexicans and foreigners filling the plaza.

            “Hear, hear,” the Americans cheered.

            “He cuts a striking figure under the star-spangled banner,” said a female voice behind me. I turned and saw an American woman, about my own age. She spoke to another woman, her servant by the style of her dress. “Our countrymen will remember this day forever.”

            “Mine, too,” I said. She searched for who had spoken among the assembled men surrounding me. An officer standing next to her eyed my holster and stepped between us.

            “Just a boy, ma’am,” he said to her.        

             Over the next few days, Kearny worked alongside lawyers he’d brought with him to draft a set of laws to govern the American territory of New Mexico. “The code is workable,” Geraldo said later. He rubbed his jaw, speaking as much to himself as to me. “But the lawyers are out for themselves.”

         My business and political lessons never seemed to end. Geraldo rushed to fill me with a lifetime of what he had learned. “Hire several lawyers, pay them well, and have them check each other’s work. Are you listening Pilar?” Satisfied he had my attention, he continued, “Honesty is hard-won in rough country. In the short run, the clever and dishonest will run the territory of New Mexico. Make sure both sides work for you.” 

Please join me at the Somos Salon in Taos on Saturday, September 28 or Bookworks, Albuquerque on September 29.

Las Hermanas Sandoval

A special thank you to Pa'lante Latino. The International Latino Book Awards are tomorrow night in NYC and I will be attending.  The Sandoval Sisters is a finalist in two categories, but competition is stiff.  Whatever the outcome, my son and friends at Pa'lante Latino advised me to attend: "Youre already a winner." I was hoping that Victoria Cepeda and Efrain Nieves would be there. It's through their early support that I kept on plugging and the readership for this story written by a genuine half-Mexican has grown. Thank you to all my fans and friends.  

“Las Hermanas Sandoval” Women During Mexican-American War

SEPTEMBER 11, 2012 BY EFRAIN NIEVES 1 COMMENT

By Victoria Cepeda

Recently I had the pleasure of learning about Sandra Ramos O’Brient‘s work as she became a fan of Pa’lante. “Las Hermanas Sandoval” or The Sandoval Sisters is about women during the Mexican-American War who are caught in the crosshairs of history.  Ramos O’Briant  successfully blends the components which mark Latin American novels: passion, love lost, adventure, romance, erotica and sacrifice.

Signing The Sandoval Sisters at the L.A. Festival of Books

UNBELIEVABLE FESTIVAL SPECIAL

ME!!!

Saturday

I’ll be signing THE SANDOVAL SISTERS 

@ 

Women Writing the West, Booth #160: 

12:00-3:00 

&

4:00-6:00 

@Booth # 953 (GLAWS)

Sunday

10:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m.  @ #160 &

12:20-2:40 @ #953

Wonder what GLAWS is? Stop by and say Hi!

All will be explained.

www.thesandovalsisters.com

ISBN: 978-0615615103 

La Gente Press

At the Plaza

     Whenever I tell people I grew up in Santa Fe, their eyes light up. They’ve either been captivated by the Land of Enchantment or they want to be.  Tourism has always been a big source of revenue for the town, and its commercial, political and historical heart is the plaza downtown.   Santa Fe was the first foreign capital conquered by the U.S. Army.  Thousands of soldiers entered the plaza and took possession. “Some of your priests have told you that we would ill-treat your women and brand them on the cheek. It is all false,” General Kearny said to the crowd of New Mexicans and foreigners filling the plaza (The Sandoval Sisters, chapter 22, The First White Woman).  No branding, but they did put a cannon on a hill aimed at the plaza.

     A marker for the End of the Santa Fe trail was home base for playing tag in the plaza when I was a kid.  Back then, I figured it had something to do with cowboys, but my research revealed the trail was all about trade and sales.  Spain kept foreigners out for over 200 years, but Mexico welcomed trade.  Wagon trains arrived regularly from the East.  “ ‘¡Los carros!’ shouted women, men and boys, all anxious to get first pick of the goods as they were unloaded.  Filthy teamsters yelled, ‘Aiiiie, aiiiie,’ and waved their sombreros at the horses, cows, mules and oxen, herding them into nearby corrals. The uneven wooden wheels of carretas, pulled by tiny burros, clackety-clacked on the street.  Wandering pigs, goats and stray dogs added to the uproar, and the smell, of Santa Fé,” (chapter 5, A Sister For a Sister).

The portal outside the Palace of Governors circa 1885
40 years after the events in The Sandoval Sisters

     The Palace of Governors, built in 1610, faces the plaza, and is the oldest continuously occupied public building in the U.S.  It’s now a museum.  As a child, I stopped in frequently to stare at the mummified baby still in its leather papoose.  When I began my research for The Sandoval Sisters, I found a wealth of historical information there, including furnishings in use by the ricos of the time. Alas, the baby was no longer on display.

  Today, Native American vendors sit outside the doors to the museum selling jewelry, but in the 19th century, “Cottonwood trees planted in front of the Governor’s Palace provided shade for butchers to hang mutton, and under the covered porches of the Palace, bakers and fruit vendors displayed their produce, and Indians brought in venison and wild turkey. I’d once seen the carcass of a grizzly for sale, and bought the fatty parts. Bear grease was useful in herbal remedies; it made hair glossy black, and it lubricated everything from a baby’s rump to carriage wheels,” (Oratoria, Chapter 5).

  There’s a tether from my heart to Santa Fe.  “I long for the comforting ring of mountains encircling Santa Fé like a vow. I want the play of light and shadow, and the subtleties of color, which only a mountain desert can produce. I need the drama of black starry night, and the passion play of electrical storms, charging even the air we breath with its energy,” (Pilar, chapter 19, Friends and Lovers).

The Next Big Thing

Witches Moon Over Santa Fe

Writers have been playing The Next Big Thing for a while now, so I was pleased when poet, writer and editor, Sarah Cortez tagged me.  I reviewed Sarah's most recent book of poetry Walking Home here, and one of my stories (Death and Taxes . . . and Worms) appeared in Hit List, the mystery anthology she edited .  Read Sarah's Next Big Thing post here.  Update:  Sarah just got word that Walking Home received an Honorable Mention in this years Los Angeles Festival of Books. Linda Quinn also filled me in on the dynamics, mystery and allure of playing this game.  She's working on her first novel, The Search, a YA multicultural mystery about a teen who must reveal a long-held family secret in order to make her dream of being a police detective come true.

What are you working on?

My Next Big Thing is ongoing.  I'm happy to report that The Sandoval Sisters' Secret of Old Blood continues to be read and is receiving good reviews.  Much of it has been through book club referrals. I will visit your reading group if you're local or Skype in if your group is far, far away. 

Where did you get the idea for your book?

The simple answer is at my mother's knee. A family legend concerns two Sandoval spinsters in the 19th century who adopted two orphans whose parents had died on the trail to Santa Fe.  The original premise was an exploration of what it would mean if an old, moneyed and mysterious Hispanic family brought into its fold Anglo children and raised them as Sandovals.  It gets at the heart of multiculturalism in New Mexico in all its variations.  I wrote that book.  Sent it to an agent.  She said I had the makings of a family saga, and asked if I'd noticed how the youngest generation kept referring back to their adoptive aunts and to what they had learned from them?

It's true that the Sandoval sisters spoke to me: while I carpooled my kids, in my dreams, and when I worked out, their stories unwound behind my eyes. I rewrote the book, and brought the past forward into the present to let them speak for themselves.  The issues confronted by the sisters are contemporary: racism, sexual and religious intolerance, and the power of superstition.  It's a story of what constitutes a family.

Genre?

The book is literary fiction set in a dynamic and seldom-addressed period in American history: the Mexican-American War.  

Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?

Selena Gomez or Demi Lovato for the tomboy Pilar.  Pilar is the most joyous of the sisters and actively sought a varied sex life (with her husband, and . . . spoiler alert!), so while Selena has the elan for the role, not sure she can break from innocent teen.  

America Ferrara or Salma Hayek could play Oratoria, the wise woman.  

The beautiful, but treacherous, Consuelo, is perfect for Eva Mendez or Michelle Rodriquez.  They both kick nalgas (buttocks, and for those readers who need a further translation: ass).

Alma is difficult. Well-mannered and demure, she experienced more personal tragedies than her sisters.  Her fair complexion was a contrast to both Oratoria and Pilar. I vote for Bitsie Tulloch. Never heard of her? She plays the wife on the TV series Grimm. When I heard her speak Spanish, had to look her up.  She's half-Scottish and half-Spanish. 

What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

Santa Fe, New Mexico was the first foreign capital captured by the U.S. An unbelievable influx of men occurred, but nary a word has been written about how that affected the New Mexican women.  Until now.

What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?  

Anne Rice's Mayfair Witches, Isabel Allende in the House of Spirits.

What else about your book might pique the reader's interest?

From an Amazon review:  "Everything you could want from historical fiction-a largely unexplored part of Mexican-American history, the spectacular vistas of New Mexico, a dynastic family with not one but three incredibly distinct, sensual, powerful female voices." Cindy D. Oh, and there are witches!

I've tagged Jill Smolinski, Rudy Ch. Garcia, and Estella Gonzalez to tell us about their next Big Thing.  First, a brief introduction:

Jill Smolinski writes fun, sophisticated and loving women's fiction that is sold internationally.  Her latest novel, Objects of My Affection will be out in paperback on March 5 wherever books are sold. It tackles hoarding, prickly mother-son relationships, art, and the sometimes slippery slope to getting laid. Wait! Can't believe I wrote that, but we've all been there, so deal. Jill has an excellent sense of humor and puts up with a lot from me. She'll post more on March 14 here.

Estella Gonzalez' novel in progress is Angry Blood, which is also the title of her Pushcart nominated excerpt which can be read here. Her work has been anthologized in Latinos in Lotusland: An Anthology of Contemporary Southern California Literature and Kaleidoscope.  Her writing has also appeared in Puerto del Sol, Kweli Journal and Huizache. Estella has not yet been inculcated into the dark and sensual world of blogging, so  I'll be hosting her responses on my blog next week.  Where you are now just in case you're not sure.

Rudy Ch. Garcia is at work writing a YA fantasy about disillusioned and damaged teens who overcome their fractured pasts on Earth, but find hope and understanding in a dangerous, dismal and repressive Otherworld.  It can happen: mythology is full of heroes/heroines who journey to a dark and tangled dimension and find their way back, scarred but whole. The book is tentatively entitled Bruised Hearts, Mended Dreams.  He's finished the second draft and will soon send it on its way to agents.  Rudy's debut novel, The Closet of Discarded Dreams, is a thrilling rollercoaster of a story: magical realism crossed with hip-hop and with a schmeer of spanglish to go with that. He'll tell you more about both books on 3/2/13 here.

Top Ten Latino Books, 2012

     Fifteen years ago I sat in Aimee Bender's Introduction to Fiction class at UCLA and wrote the following two lines:  Human dreams had been written in archaic Spanish, and terrible sins described in faded brown ink on whisper-thin paper.  The entire spectrum of love was examined: practical jokes and puns, recipes for desperate wives and artistic poisoners, centuries of words put down for those who followed.
     I'd been listening to my mom's Sandoval stories while flat on my back with a bad case of sciatica, but I'd heard these tales my whole life: the Sandoval sisters were spinsters and reputedly also witches.  They'd adopted two Anglo brothers whose parents had died on the trail to Santa Fe. My mind focused on the witchcraft, which I liked, and less to my taste, the spinster aspect, which meant no sex.  Or did it?
     I took more classes, joined two writing groups, and wrote the book from the orphaned Anglo children's POV, making one of them a girl.  Poor Anglo babies were tagged as Sandovals:  Our Anglo last name disappeared and we became the Sandoval children on every legal document of that time, but we were not la gente.  We were the children of the Sandoval witches.
     My agent said I had the makings of two, possibly three books, on the Sandovals.  I rewrote the story, transforming all the flashbacks into the present.  The story focuses on the sisters, with only a bit of precognition announcing the future generation of Sandovals at the end of the book.
     The novel reflects Santa Fe's unique position in history:  it was the first foreign capital conquered by the U.S.  Thousands of Anglo soldiers entered the town, assuredly having an effect on the residents, especially the women, but not a word has been written from a female perspective.  Until now.
     It's not easy marketing a historical novel about Mexicans who were already here-in what would become the contiguous U.S.- published by a small press and written by an unknown writer.  The Mexican American War is the least written about subject in our history.  If I could have figured out how to work Abraham Lincoln into the plot, I would have had an easier time of it.  I preferred directing my talents, and imagination, to the sex I wanted the Sandoval Sisters to have.  Just kidding. Not really.

       So . . . I'm pleased to announce that I've been included in a top 10 list selected by The Latino Author.com.  The list includes a Pulitzer prize winner, a National Book award winner, NY Times bestsellers and writers of memoirs, romance, and short stories:  

Top Ten Best Books By Latino Authors In 2012

1) This is How You Lose Her by Junot Díaz.

This is a selection of short stories depicting love, relationships, and heartbreak. Mr. Díaz uses his skill of writing to bring his characters to life.

2) A Wedding in Haiti by Julia Alvarez.

A memoir depicting the author’s relationship with a Haitian farmer named Piti. It captures things that are witnessed during her unusual relationship with this farmer as well as how her trips to this place impact and affect her.

3) Have You Seen Marie? by Sandra Cisneros.

This book captures the quest of a girl in search of her cat right after the death of her mother. The search creates an internal transformation of the character Sandy. The beautiful poetic writing brings the book to life.

4) The Distrance Between Us by Reyna Grande.

A memoir depicting the author’s early years as she and her siblings are left behind with their grandparents in Mexico while the parents enter the United States illegally. It is a heartfelt story.

5) The Sandoval Sisters’ Secret of Old Blood by Sandra Ramos O’Briant.

A brilliantly told story of the Sandoval Sisters and their life journeys during the mid 1800s. The author excellently interweaves much history of the United States and Mexico during that time. The book is written with great skill and talent.

6) We the Animals by Justin Torres.

As you read this book, you may think you are reading “The House on Mango Street” by Sandra Cisneros; although, this book is about a dysfunctional family whereas Ms. Cisneros’ book is not. The book is written with the same style and flavor and uses a vignette structure to tell the story. The author is quick witted and uses a very clever style of writing.

7) All That Glitters by Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez.

A powerful story bringing two unlikely characters together through which a bond and friendship is developed. In this friendship they find strength, love, and success.

8) Killing the American Dream: How Anti-Immigration Extremists are Destroying the Nation by Pilar Marerro.

This is a book that should be read by everyone interested in the immigration issues of the United States. The author skillfully and objectively captures the problems of immigration today omitting much of the political and technical jargon.

9) Secret Saturdays by Torrey Maldonado. 

This story captures the life of an inner city kid and gets into the minds and souls of how they think and feel. Although the story is fiction, it is so real.

10) Looking for Esperanza by Adriana Páramo.

This is an excellent book depicting the hidden world of undocumented female farmworkers and the struggles that they endure on a daily basis just to survive. This is a very powerful book.

http://www.thelatinoauthor.com/top/

I Have No Life

Not only am I now blogging (I once thought this was a euphemism for not really writing), but I also have a MySpace page (something I signed up for after several martinis a year or so ago, and rediscovered this year after trying to sign up again while clear-headed only to discover my name and usual passwords were already being used). Yes, I am technically challenged enough that I momentarily suspected identity theft rather than an online blackout.


I've met (virtually) some fine people through blogging, responded to writing prompts and produced good work, and the much maligned MySpace has worked as it should. My MySpace profile has generated over four thousand hits on the site I created to promote my as yet unpublished first novel, The Sandoval Sisters .

Lately, I've been absorbed in signing up for endless blog promotion --- too many passwords, so little time --- and reading other blogs.

That's my excuse for writing today in response to Mo Rocca's blog, I'm Breaking Up With My Cleaning Lady.

My advice to him was to act quickly and decisively. As with el amor, it may all boil down to the same vacuum of loss, except that with your cleaning lady it's a vacuum of non-vacuuming.

Being the dumpee is never great.

Nothing worse than thinking about breaking up with your cleaning lady, getting more and more annoyed, noticing dust in places you've ignored for years, honing your passive-aggressive talents by leaving your towel on the bathroom floor, returning home to find it folded neatly on the towel bar and sniffing it to determine if she laundered it, sniffing it again and again . . . and then she dumps you!!!

Writing Tip: This is an example of creative nonfiction since I don't sniff towels, and I did get dumped